When I was young, my heroes were Conan the Barbarian and Dirty Harry. People who weren't afraid of violence and sought brutal revenge on the evil people of the world.

I mean, how glorious was it when Dirty Harry spouted his funny one-liners off just prior to blowing someone's head off! 

Conan was the ultimate satisfaction for those seeking to chop off the heads of those who wronged us!

Soon though, those became too timid for me. I mean really, "To kill your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women" is for sissies.

I need me some torture! After all, brutal violent revenge isn't enough to keep me safe, as President Bush suggested, we need torture for that.

So, I turned to Jack Bauer, now there is a man with a plan. Torture and kill those bad guys, go get 'em. Makes me feel like a REAL American.

To supplement my fix, and add a sexual voyeuristic tone, I turn to heroes like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I mean talk about fillin' your need for some righteous violent revenge.  I shouted "YOU GO GIRL" in the theater when she jammed that dildo up the rapist's ass and made him scream. I mean yeah, that's what I am talking about! That's the way you have to deal with bad guys man. Violence can only be answered with more violence!

Goddam we need some Stand Yer Ground laws, so I can get me some of that righteous killing bad guy pie.

That was just the appetizer though, just a mere preamble to the real American hero, Dexter. I mean is he not the ultimate in American heroism? Who better to satisfy our lust for violent bloody revenge than psychopathic killer hunting down psychopathic killers. I mean, it completely fulfills my addiction to violence and gettin' those evil people like never before. 

I suppose pretty soon even Dexter won't be enough, perhaps the news will make me feel better.

(SNARK)