Another long weekend, but somehow it felt even longer. I meant to have some fun with my boys but that didn't happen. I spent the entire thing either curled up in a ball, glazed in front of my laptop or mucking trough a required chore. I don't really remember all that much of it, to be honest. Cleetus did some heavy cleaning for me and that was lovely, much appreciated. But other than that? Gray haze.
The thing about these headaches is that I'm always in some level of pain, but it's the days where it kicks into high gear, won't allow me to keep the pain pills down or be much affected by them if I do that get me. And then it just drags on.
It started Friday night, as I was enjoying the music video party, I knew it was coming--I could smell the deodorant that my husband had put under his arms that morning as if he had bathed in cologne--that's my first warning sign, a ridiculously hyper-sensitive sense of smell. I say warning sign like there's anything I can do besides take my pain meds and hope it's not too bad, because that heightened sense of smell says--go! go to bed, you're about to be in a world of pain!
Cleetus wakes me too early on Saturday and I am wicked pissed. He's full of adrenaline from cleaning and doesn't realize he's being so damn loud. He tells me to go back to sleep, but does not understand that this is impossible. This headache won't let me. It's worse than any hangover, it's like adding a brutal assault of cold electric head strikes bolting above my eye and at this point the weekend slips sideways into the haze. I know I made potato soup for supper, I remember my mom picking bacon bits out of it...the rest of Saturday? I don't know.
Sunday--total blur. My sister made supper, as she often does on a Sunday and thank God for that because I am useless. The boys are playing, they are noisy, noisy! Shit. Just go upstairs, they are having a great time, don't yell, don't yell at them for being kids. They didn't sign up for migraine mom. Now I feel really bad. They are off tomorrow, maybe we can do something fun, like I hoped.
Monday brings no relief. Dan is content to spend his day off watching movies and drawing and Collin has his computer and his acting class starts today, but the things we had planned for the weekend? Pfffft. The big bag of science sits on the shelf mocking me. There will be no rainbow in a test tube today. No gravity goo, no insta-snow, no water balz! The only good thing is that I get through the day without freaking out on anybody.
This morning I sat on the front porch with Dan and waited for the bus like always. The cold plays across my face and lights up my head like a pinball machine. We have a good chat and he's in as good a mood as I've ever seen as the bus pulls up. I head into the house. In another hour the house will fall silent and I will head upstairs and try to sleep, pray for this to end, break, just fall below a dull roar.
Is it Tuesday already? An other lost weekend. It was a long one.