The Breakfast Club (Gangstagrass "All For One")

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We're a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we're not too hungover  we've been bailed out we're not too exhausted from last night's (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:30am (ET) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it's PhilJD's fault.

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Nothingness and Being

Sand photo sand2.jpgIn the wayback, when I first began transition in 1992, we had this newfangled email thing which I hd been using, but I was using it less than efficiently. My daughter's partner persuaded me to join the Sappho email list, claiming that might be helpful to stem the tide of isolation I was beginning to feel. Sappho was a list started by a straight woman for lesbians. Shortly after I joined that list, I learned about the Transgen email list for transgender people which had been established by Julie Waters, so I joined that as well.

And I got extremely busy on those lists. I used to check the site usage for the college and found that it was not unusual to have about three quarters of the incoming email for the site headed in my direction.

About three months after I transitioned, the Mosaic web browser was released. So One could go look at the webpages available...but they were pretty sparse. By 1995 a company called GeoCities was created which allowed users to build their own websites.

I was an early adopter. I homesteaded in the WestHollywood neighborhood (number 8440). I began publishing some of my writings there...Including the diary of my last month before surgery (blogging, as it were), which I had shared with members of the Owls (Older Wiser Lesbians) email list which had been spun off of Sappho in 1994 (I was a founding member).

The piece I am sharing today was created during that period. I've dusted the mold off of it and repaired a few rips here and there. Last weekend in my Spirituality diary I posted that I was searching for my list of Life Lessons.

Found them :-)

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Despondency

This essay was first published in the summer of 2008. I've decided it belongs in my autobiography to represent the grey times.

it was a grey day, full of grey people leading their grey lives.


Hollow 3

Each day I can watch him trudging home from wherever he has been. Fortunately it is downhill from the bus stop to where he lives. He never smiles, eyes focused on the ground a few feet in front of his pace.

Beaten down.

The world so heavy that he can't even look up.

Shoulders sagging under the weight of the last straw, and the last straw before that... and the one before that. A succession of so many minor beatings to the ego that he flinches reflexively at anything, everything, expecting the worst

Back bent from too many sorrows.

And you want him to rise up?

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The Breakfast Club (Counting Up The Years)

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We're a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we're not too hungover  we've been bailed out we're not too exhausted from last night's (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and
weekend morning at 10:30am (ET) to talk about current news and our
boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late,
it's PhilJD's fault.

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3

Inclusion

Once upon a time...

Okay, so I've already told most of the story about how I got to be where I am...and who I am. But there is more. There is always more. It would take another lifetime to include everything.

 photo pflag_logo_zpsh65qzwel.jpgAfter transitioning and surgery and all that, some of which has been told and some of which is coming soon, I failed in an attempt to move to Seattle during the last half of 1995. When I returned to Arkansas, I decided that if I couldn't choose where I lived, it was time to change the place that I lived. I got involved with PFLAG first since my daughter was a lesbian. Protecting the children should come first.

Later I became a member of the board of the Arkansas Gay and Lesbian Task Force. But first and foremost I considered myself as a PFLAG mom. Hell hath no fury life a PFLAG mom.

This was first presented at a PFLAG regional conference in Tulsa in 1998 and published shortly thereafter at my Geocities West Hollywood website. Looking around on the Google yesterday, I noticed that several people and organizations still link to it...even though I took down my site when Yahoo first claimed that my work was their intellectual property.

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Money

Apparently when I was born, I was entered into this huge game, the Game. I never chose to play it. Apparently I can't opt out.

Money: There's nothing in the world so demoralizing as money.

--Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC), Antigone

 

 

 

Restart.
 

 

 

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Gender Prison: Aint I a Human?

Outside the Box photo outsidethebox.jpgFrom time to time since I came out I have been asked to address various groups of people to justify our existence. At one and he same time I have agreed to do that while simultaneously asking myself, "By what right do I speak for any group of people?"

Today's chapter is one of those efforts. It is the introductory statement to students in a Psychology of Women class I was invited to address.

The Image to the left is entitled Outside the Box

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The Breakfast Club (Don't Fear the Fall)

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We're a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we're not too hungover  we've been bailed out we're not too exhausted from last night's (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and
weekend morning at 10:30am (ET) to talk about current news and our
boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late,
it's PhilJD's fault.
 photo 807561379_e6771a7c8e_zps7668d00e.jpg
   

This Day in History

 

 

 

  

 

 

   

Iran releases American hostages; Ronald Reagan and John F. Kennedy innaugurated as President.

Breakfast Tunes

 

 

 

  

 

 

   

Something to Think about over Coffee Prozac

 

Responsible Gun Owners

Hint: If you can't remember if you have one in your bag, you aren't.

Atrios

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The Mountaintop, Revisited

I've been publishing version of this every Martin Luther King Day since I joined in 2005. It is especially apropos this year since it also represents part of my journey and so qualifies as a part of my autobiography.

If you haven't been following along, but would like to, I have links:

One or more starts

Chapter

Comings Out (Adding Context)

Character Development

A Winter

Hippie Memories

Where ragged people go

Seeking love, finding only beads

Layers of Why (time for some theory)

Ketchup Soup

Interlude<

A Gathering of Rainbows

Spirituality

Sappho Party, 1993 by Jade photo reserven.jpgI am an activist for my people. As I have grown older, I have more likely performed my activism with my words, which is the tool I have had at hand.

Sometimes I am repetitive. I am a teacher. Some lessons are hard. That's a clue to the fact that they are important. Important lessons need to be taught more than once, again and again, time and again, using different words, approaching the issue from different points of view. That's what I do. Some of you claim that I do it "ad nauseam." It's your nausea, not mine.

Many of you know me as the transsexual woman (or whatever you call me...I'm sure that it is not favorable in many instances). Some of you know me as an artist or a poet. Some of you see the teacher in me. Or the glbt activist and PFLAG parent. I am all of these. I am a human being.

I was born in a place and time. I have absorbed the life lessons presented to me since then. I am still learning.

I've tried to pass on what I have learned. I continue to make that effort, in whatever new venues are available, wherever I can find an opened eye or ear.

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