The Breakfast Club (Darts)

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We're a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we're not too hungover  we've been bailed out we're not too exhausted from last night's (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and weekend morning at 10:30am (ET) to talk about current news and our boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late, it's PhilJD's fault.

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Comings Out (Adding Context)

Early 1993 by Jade photo robyn2.jpgThe piece Chapter which was posted last night is an important part of my story, but needs some context. It is, after all, however, vital, just a small thread in a much larger tapestry.

This chapter is an attempt at adding some of that missing context. Written in 1994, it was laid down at a time when I still had some fear of losing my employment, so was trying to document everything in case it might be needed legally. I've tried to remain faithful to its substance, but did edit it this morning.

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Chapter

At my Office, 1996 photo Office96.jpgIt was late Spring of 1992 when I first recollect being the me who I am now. It came as a result of my fifth life crisis. I was alone in our house, precisely halfway between Central Baptist College and the First Baptist Church in Conway, AR.

At the time there was the previous me, trying to make a go of life and an unformed thought of the me of now, both inhabiting the same biological structure.

Previous Me was undergoing his fifth nearly terminal event. He wasn't prepared. He'd thought that since it had been 17 years since the last event, he was safe. Maybe he would have been, but stuff happens.

As in Crisis 4, the "stuff" concerned the woman who had rescued him from Crisis 3, The Woman whom he had married and who had conceived his daughter. Bu she was trouble, that one. This time she had been arrested for embezzling from the university which employed them both. As had been the case much too often in his life, he had felt obligated to pay for her transgression. And she had repaid him by obtaining a boyfriend.

So he was feeling cold and lonely in their house and it felt like the walls were closing in. Too much damn pressure. He'd tried to release at least some of it by Dancing to the Oldies with Richard Simmons, and had seen his weight retreat to its 1976 level of 155 on his 6'3" frame, what he had weighed when he was rowing lightweight crew at Penn. But it wasn't really working anymore. The walls still seemed to want to crush him. He felt as if he could stand in the center of the living room and spread his arms to touch both of he walls.

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The Breakfast Club (Nous Sommes Charlie)

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We're a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we're not too hungover  we've been bailed out we're not too exhausted from last night's (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and
weekend morning at 10:30am (ET) to talk about current news and our
boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late,
it's PhilJD's fault.
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This Day in History

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

    

Former U.S. President Richard Nixon is born, Howard
Hughes identifies fake biography, Unmanned probe lands on moon, the
Phantom of the Opera becomes the longest running Broadway show.

Breakfast Tunes

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

    

Something to Think about over Coffee Prozac

 

"I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees"

Emiliano Zapata

 

 

 

 

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#JeSuisCharlie

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Gender Prison: One or more starts

Introduction (an excerpt from my currently untitled autobiography in progress)

Let's get this straight right from the beginning. I'm a transsexual woman. For whatever reasons I may have had (which will be explored elsewhere in this book), I changed my sex. I was born with some male body parts, but I'm much better now.

Being transsexual is an evolving process. It takes longer for some people to evolve than others. In my case it has taken nearly 48 years so far...less than some, more than most. I'm still evolving and I imagine I will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

Evolution is painful for any individual so many of us fight it tooth and nail for most of our existence. If we're lucky, we realize at some point that we have to stop trying to swim upstream and let the river of life carry us to whatever shore it will. That's a frightening prospect because there's no guarantee that we still won't drown along the way. All that is certain is that swimming upstream isn't a fruitful endeavor.

The vast majority of the people in the societies of the world cannot possibly imagine what would drive someone to change sex. Waking up in the morning is not an occasion for self doubt for them as it is for us. Gender is not a confusing issue for them. For us transsexual people gender is the supreme issue. It colors just about everything in our lives in one way or another.

Our obsession with gender sets us apart from mainstream societies which consider gender one of the few immutable attributes in a human being. Tampering with anything which is supposedly immutable is fraught with danger. In the past few years I have seen signs that societies are beginning to evolve away from the concept of immutability of gender, but as it is with evolution of an individual, evolution is a painful process for a society and unfortunately the pain of a society is generally inflicted on some of its individuals.

For those few of us who can escape the whirlpool of fear, pain, and danger that we find swirling around us, there is the hope someday of reaching some distant safe shore. It's not an easy journey because it involves an investigation and interrogation of one's self that the vast majority of people would be hard put to withstand. We must delve into our soul and peel away the layers of deceit we have cloaked it with, forever searching for who we really are. In the end we are compelled to bare that stark naked soul to the world.

I'm sure that there are still more layers of my own soul to be peeled away until I get to that nugget that may be in there somewhere. Or maybe I'll just keep peeling until I die and never reach it. I do know, however, that I've become a better human being through this process: stronger, braver, kinder, more patient, more understanding, more open to new ideas.

I hope that through my writing I can help others through their own personal journeys of discovery, especially my transgender sisters and brothers, but also anyone who has ever had a family member or a friend who was transgender and anyone else who encounters the compulsion to rip apart their soul as they travel the river of life.


The Blues
A Secret

A secret

buried deep within my soul

A secret

hidden from one and all

A secret

too hard for me to tell

A secret

complex enough to kill

A secret

that cannot see the light

A secret

I kept it locked up tight

A secret

leaking out so late

A secret

determining my fate

 

--Robyn Elaine Serven
--June, 1992

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The Breakfast Club (There Ought To Be Clowns.)

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We're a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we're not too hungover  we've been bailed out we're not too exhausted from last night's (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and
weekend morning at 10:30am (ET) to talk about current news and our
boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late,
it's PhilJD's fault.
 photo 807561379_e6771a7c8e_zps7668d00e.jpg
   

This Day in History

 

 

 

  

 

 

   

Joan of Arc is born; Samuel Morse demonstrates the
telegraph to the public; Commercial airplane completes first
round-the-world flight; Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan is attacked; Dizzy
Gillespie and Rudolf Nureyev die.

Breakfast Tunes

 

 

 

  

 

 

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