I used to be pretty active. I was never what you would call athletic, but I did recreational things, I traveled, went camping, went out and about, you know, did things, went places. These days it seems like there's only one place I ever go, only one place I get to regularly and that's Napalot.
Napalot, the land of Nod, Siesta, whatever you want to call it, almost every day for two hours or so I'm going to need to lay down and go to sleep if I can. This is usually going to happen sometime between noon and three because that's when my kids are in school and that's how it works out, but I've been known to be flexible and grab the odd nap after supper or even mid-morning if need be.
Because I am exhausted. There's a kind of tired that comes with Fibro that is hard to describe without sounding melodramatic. If you tell people, "Look, that whole Thanksgiving meal and the aftermath? That took a lot out of me and I'm having trouble moving today." They look at you funny. If you try to explain how you have to break down the housework into manageable bits and pieces or what things your husband does for you so that you're not out of commission for several days over it--you get "the look." And I'm sure some of you know what look I'm talking about, they might as well have the word "dubious" stamped on their foreheads. So, it's not like they'd understand that daily trip to the land of Nod. Here's the thing--I don't care.
I used to care, used to feel judged and try to convince people that I really was sick or I really was doing what was best for me, but you know what? What anybody else thinks does not matter. When you have an invisible disability there are always going to be people who do not understand, who will never understand, they may not want to, am I going to let that affect what I do or feel? I can't. So, some people think it odd that a grown woman who looks healthy enough needs a nap every damn day, that's a shame, but I don't have to justify my nap to them--I just take it.