This is not a rant because I haven't got enough energy for that. I'm working from a state of exhaustion, which is the genesis of the title.

Over Thanksgiving Debbie and I drove over 1000 miles to North Carolina and back to visit my daughter and her husband and their two children (Rachel (to the left), who is 2 and mighty large for her age, and Zack (to the right, with his father), who just turned two months old). I'll sprinkle some photos taken during the visit in during my screed...which was generated by commentary left in a recent diary posted at Voices on the Square and Tuesday evening's diary at Daily Kos.

Upon arriving back home, I was faced with the last week of classes before Finals Week. So on Wednesday I gave exams in all of my classes, which I spent all day Wednesday and Thursday grading so that I could return them today. It turned out that I was able to avoid the all-nighter that was a distinct possibility, but the stress generated still made for less than restful sleep.

That's a major reason why I do not have something different prepared for this evening.









Zack, with his paternal grandfather






At Voices on the Square, someone felt it was necessary to express his belief that I post too much about transgender issues (comments now deleted). By the same token, I assume that Nelson Mandela spoke too often about Apartheid and MLK talked to much about race in America. Now, I'm not comparing myself to Nelson or Martin, but I am spending a large amount of my online effort attempting to gain equality for transgender people. I apologize if writing about transgender issues strikes any of my readers as an inappropriate means toward that end.



Rachel, the toddler technogeek




I'd love to write less often about transgender issues...but it is not like there is a whole host of nontransgender people stepping forward to carry the torch. And as long as there is a group of people which has less equality, I will not be silent about that inequity. The fact that I am a member of the group in question earns me challenges that it is only self-interest that spurs me on. All I can do is give my word that it is not the case.

With that already cluttering my mind, I posted Tuesday about That Bathroom Thing at two different blogs. As usual it was mostly ignored (commentwise) at VotS and generated discussion at DK.





Debbie, with Zach, who's having a snit





On commenter chastised me for not being more concerned with the girls who have to share restrooms with transgender kids, because to her transgender girls are still boys. This same commenter has recited this dogma several times in the past. To her the concerns of the girls are paramount...ignoring the transgender girls because, you know, they aren't really girls.

As we would hope you understand, we transgender people are offended by that line of reasoning. It denies who we are. Now matter how it may be couched, it is the same claim that we hear from our foes:





Transgender people are deluded monsters.





The girls might see our privates! That ignores the fact that transgender people are most circumspect about the private viewing of our genitalia...to the point that many of us spent years of our lives avoiding medical treatment because we might have to disrobe. With that in mind, we are also much less likely than other girls to be interested in what anyone looks like naked. We don't use the restroom to spy on anyone.

That diary had a major section about an Orange County, CA, 6-year-old who identifies as a boy but is what his parents refer to as "gender nonconforming" and "gender creative." The boy likes to wear dresses at home, but does not do so at school because he is already aware that he would be treated badly if he did so. He does tend to pinks and purples, however, and has lengthy hair and wears bracelets. So he has been picked on in the boys rest room...to the point that he has stopped using it, has stopped drinking fluids at breakfast or lunch, and tries not to pee until he gets home at the end of the day. Sometimes he has failed to make it.





Rachel, in her Bob the Builder t-shirt, yawning;
my daughter is in the background







I was highly disappointed by the comments that blamed the boy or his parents for his maltreatment. He is not a transgender kid...at least at this point in his life...so if he identifies as a boy, to my way of thinking, he should be able to safely use the boys' room...without being bullied.

Some of the comments referred to his "sexuality." We do not know what his sexuality will be. He's only 6. Sexuality needs to be disconnected from gender identity. Wearing pink and purple is not a sign of being gay. One commentator chastised his parents for forcing him to dress as he does. No. His parents are letting the boy be who he chooses to be...who he is. They are not choosing a path for him to follow...but the same commentator expressed the opinion that the parents should be forcing a path on him: the path to being (the commentator's view of) what a boy should be.

To that end it was basically stated that transgender people just need to put their lives on hold and wait until they are fully grown to be themselves. Until then it should be Don't Ask, Don't Tell for all transgender kids.

You can be gay, or feel you're the other gender while wearing clothes that society makes for the gender you appear to be.

What is wrong with making the kid conform to male clothes while a child?

Because, you know, it's not like we are real people or anything.




















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I'm tired too.

aigeanta's picture

Tired of tolerating people who don't understand that their own hangups are preventing others from having equal rights. I'm so sorry for all the ways you and others have suffered because this outrageous state of affairs. I really can't wrap my head around how ignorant and unsympathetic some people can be, and what kind of inhumane things happen because of their lack of education and/or empathy. I wish we could find a way to educate and open the hearts of those who have not been able to see the world through the eyes of a transgender person. Let the new year bring some clarity and compassion to the masses.

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