Assuming Roles, Duties and Responsibilities

See the screw slowly turn around
See it sink without a sound
Feel your head split with every turn
Feel the steel knob begin to burn
All is lost now, it seems that way
All is lost now, it seems that way

Being Different photo bdif.jpgFrom one of my readers:

I would be very much interested
in all the dynamic you and your family went through, in detail. I bet it would make for a lot of drama and sell more books because of it, if it ia published. Without that it seems a little too abstract and philosophical for me anyway. But maybe I missed some of what you have posted.

The graphic is entitled Being Different.

All righty then...



The Observer

Once upon a time...

...or maybe it was twice. Come to think of it, it was definitely much more often than that.

It was, after all, all about the time. Then again, it was also about the place and the people who were there and the things that happened. So maybe I need to restart.


Once upon a spacetime, I was there. I have been an observer. In many ways I have lead a Gumpian existence. Somehow I adopted the notion that it was important for me to observe and record. If not me, who?



The Breakfast Club (Halftime Show)

It's Throwball's Superb Owl Sunday!

Now some folks watch for the super expensive commercials. But it was always all about the halftime show as far as most of my friends were concerned. At the beginning of the third quarter we'd drag ourselves back up into the stands and start to chant  Let's Go Home! Let's Go Home! Let's Go Home! Sadly, the football coach thought we were cheering for the home team.

These days when I'm looking to indulge in the spectacle of spectating athletic puppies and kittens, or the Bowl of Super Bread and circuses, I know I'll find a welcoming home at the live blogging party at the park.

Halftime Show Warm Up Tune:  I Kissed a Girl , A Katy Perry Banjo Cover by Susan Elizabeth



I Kissed a Girl on Banjo


Whatever you do, don't google wardrobe malfunctions to check the spelling.




The Closet

Breakout photo color.gifThis chapter was written while I had taken a hiatus from Daily Kos and begun front paging at Docudharma. I published five days before Docudrama opened to the public. It was the first entry of my Friday Philosophy column.

To give some context, this essay was written in response to some folks ragging on gays who live in the closet.

I've updated it just a bit to bring it into the present.

News Flash: Joel Gray came out as gay. That's a shocker.




All the other times I began writing my autobiography (which supplied some of the chapters I have already shared) in the end suffered the same fate: I couldn't figure out how it was going to end. After all I wasn't dead yet.

But perhaps this will be the terminal chapter in my book. I'll have to think seriously about that.

I sometimes (partially facetiously) refer to myself as "immortal until proven otherwise." This is different than I have felt about the subject in the past (witness four suicide attempts). But I am a survivor and see no reason for that to change. Sure, my body might wear out and no longer function well enough to support keeping my being in contact with the world of our outward shared reality (or is that our shared hallucination?), but I cannot believe that my body is the sum total of who I am (for one thing, there's just not enough room in there to hold all that is me).

Our culture (is there really such a general concept?) has always seemed to me to place too much emphasis on death, about how we must "prepare" for it (some people spend way too much energy doing so, in my opinion) and how we must live our lives so that some unknown Good Thing will happen when we die. The truth of the matter (well, it's *my* truth) is that we don't really know what will happen to us when our bodies no longer function. All is speculation or, if you will. Someday my heart will stop beating. What will happen at that moment is anybody's guess. Think of it as passing through a door that only permits one-way travel.

I think the worst that can happen is that there will be nothingness, that the "me" that is connected to my physical form would cease to be. What a waste of lessons learned that would be!



The Breakfast Club (Freedom's Just Another Word)

Welcome to The Breakfast Club! We're a disorganized group of rebel lefties who hang out and chat if and when we're not too hungover  we've been bailed out we're not too exhausted from last night's (CENSORED) the caffeine kicks in. Join us every weekday morning at 9am (ET) and
weekend morning at 10:30am (ET) to talk about current news and our
boring lives and to make fun of LaEscapee! If we are ever running late,
it's PhilJD's fault.
 photo 807561379_e6771a7c8e_zps7668d00e.jpg

This Day in History





Today in History, Jan. 30






Tet offensive begins in Vietnam; Adolph Hitler becomes Chancellor of Germany; Franklin D. Roosevelt born; Mahatma Gandhi assassinated; 'Bloody Sunday' in Northern Ireland; The Lone Ranger debuts on radio.

Breakfast Tunes





Janis Joplin - Me & Bobby McGee






Something to Think about over Coffee Prozac


Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Mahatma Gandhi




When I began transition, I was required to have a mental health therapist. I was given the name of Ralph Hyman in Little Rock, but he was booked up at the time, so he gave me the name of Kurt Wilhelm...although I began also attending a group therapy session with Ralph...because I would eventually have o have two therapists sign off on any surgery I might have.

I wrote the following remembrance of Kurt after he passed away.

The graphic is entitled Door.




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